I went through such a tough period of time when the two big evergreen trees right outside my window were cut down a year ago.  Sorrow, pain, difficulty accepting the loss.  I loved those trees, and I often meditated while looking at them outside my window.  Their life and their presence was beautiful to me.  They had such a history, such a story, and their life energy was a wonderful part of the world.

But they were dying and they were slowly tipping to the side, and the roots were starting to damage the foundation of my building.  In addition, the risk of them falling in a storm and creating a lot more damage was becoming more and more real.

So I understood the need for the trees to be taken down.  And I also knew that this situation had been put in my path for a reason.  There was a lesson in it and an opportunity to grow.  I knew that this this lesson had to do with developing equanimity – accepting whatever occurs with peace.  So that is what I worked on over this last year, and I did experience the growth of equanimity and the ability to accept with peace the loss of the trees.

And as I healed from the loss, I grew to find beauty in the change.  I have a very large window on the wall that faces that space outside, a large sliding glass patio door/window.  And there are still a couple of large evergreen trees in that space, sort of framing the view I have from the chair I usually sit in.  Between those trees is now a huge piece of open sky.  I now have an unobstructed view of all that sky, and everything in it and around it.  And I have found such beauty in that space of sky, so much in that piece of the world.  

The blue of the sky and the changing colors of it over the course of a day and the seasons.  Incredible clouds, and the flight of birds.  The experience that comes from watching rain and occasional storms and snowfalls.  Magnificent sunrises and a magical view to the unfolding of the early morning, with the soft morning light that comes with that, my favorite time of day.  A small tree across the way that I have been watching grow and flourish, and many groupings of large trees farther away.  Looking out my window now, I am so much more connected to all that is a part of each day in the natural world around me, and that has had an enormous impact on me.  I have experienced so much awe, and moments of appreciation and joy.  I have enjoyed a beautiful quiet peace in all of that.

The men who cut down the trees were very understanding of my loss of those trees, and they were kind enough to cut a couple of cross-section pieces of those trees for me to have and keep.  I keep them on the patio outside my window, and I treasure those gifts from the trees.  I see them as an alter of sorts, a memorial to honor the trees.  A place to focus on sometimes when I pray and meditate.  I have a connection with those trees still.   

Wabi Sabi.  Nothing is permanent, nothing is perfect, and nothing  is complete.  Everything changes, and wabi sabi is accepting and finding the beauty in that.  Losing my trees connected me to this truth in a deeper way.  And I am grateful for that.

I hope you experience equanimity today.