Today is the one year anniversary of the death of one of my closest friend’s mother.  I have been by her side as my friend has navigated this last year, moving though the days and the stages of life and grief that follow the loss of someone deeply loved.

I know the physical death of my friend’s mother does not mean the end of her.  I know that physical death is just a transition, a continuation of this evolution of everything that we call life.  My friend’s mother is experiencing that continuation of life, and her experience is now beyond what we are able to know or comprehend.  But I do know that my friend’s love and connection with her has not ended.  It now simply takes another form.

The physical loss of her mother, however, is hard.  There is pain that comes with the loss of the ability to see her body, hug her, and hear her voice.  Sharing physical interactions with her in the way that she always used to is now longer possible.  That is what we truly grieve when someone we love dies.  We don’t grieve because we believe they have ended, rather we grieve the loss of our ability to physically connect with them in the same way we always did.

My friend is planning to do some things today to honor her mother, to celebrate her life and the relationship they were blessed with.  To acknowledge and live her love for her mother.  She is planning to connect with her mother in the way she is now able to, and that is a very beautiful thing.

My friend’s mother loved mandarin oranges and in the last days of her life, my friend would often sit close to her, peel a mandarin orange and give it to her to eat, a section at a time.  What an incredibly beautiful experience that must have been for her mother.  To feel that physical closeness and the care that my friend was focused on giving her, to smell the scent of the citrus as my friend slowly peeled the orange, to taste the delicious flavor of the orange as she slowly ate it.  And most of all, to bask in the love that my friend was surrounding her in.

My friend will continue to surround her mother in love today.  She will just do it in another way.

I hope you honor and show love to someone important in your life today.